AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

im tired, im sad...and the internet cant seem to work right....there's nothing to do...
just wait...
and hope...i really miss her face..her words, her smile...so...lets hope...
hope she doesn't forget about me that fast...

the sun rises again...one more day is starting, one more without feelings, without flavour, without purpose...
im trying to forget what brought me to this situation...but..i think i already did..and now i cant do nothing, nothing to prevent the suffering, the pain, the feeling that none of my dreams will ever come true...

i feel like im alone, by the sea...the sun is setting but all i see is dark...altough the wind blows strong, i cant feel it on my cheeks...the sand turns to ash as i step on it...i cant hear the waves braking on the shore... even the water has no temperature...it dries right away in my hands...i want to feel...something...otherwise, all i am is a dead man walking...

...just a dead man walking...

We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby...

from - "Brad Paisley - Whiskey Lullaby (Featuring Alison Krauss)"

1. Gavin DeGraw - Belief...obrigado lux... fantastico...

Belief, makes things real.
Makes things feel, feel alright.
Belief, makes things true.
Things like you, you and I.

Tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me, Belief

Builds from scratch.
Doesn't have to relax, it doesn't need space.
Long live the queen and I'll be the king.
In the collar of grace.

Oh, tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me, belief.

I'm gonna yell it from the rooftops.
I'll wear a sign on my chest.
That's the least I can do, it's the least I can do.

Tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife, in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
And I'll stand by my belief.

I will stand by mine... x2

belief...

like you stood by me, I wil l stand by mine, stand by my belief...

fuck...

sinto-me bem...apesar de nao ter dormido, sinto que "acordei"...isso é bom... tou farto de passar as horas a morrer, a sentir pena...quero mexer-me...lutar...mas tenho medo, ja me senti assim antes...nunca consigo agarrar o sentimento...a força desvanece e fico sem chao...(era isto o que sentia a meio da tarde de hoje, quando comecei a escrever este rascunho)...agora, à meia noite...tal como acontece como a cinderela...perdi nao o meu sapato, mas o meu rumo... porque tem de ser tao dificil?? nao percebo, ou nao quero perceber...sinto-me mesmo morto...que fiz eu com o tempo que me foi dado??? quase 23 anos...de nada, de vazio...a força que todos julgam que eu tenho deixou-me ha muito tempo atras...nao sou nada mais que um pobre, de alma e espirito..um palhaco que ri e faz rir apenas para alegrar os outros...sorrisos vazios, sao tudo o que eu tenho...foi tudo o que aprendi a fazer com mestria durante todos estes anos...fodasse...
começo a dar em doido com estas mudancas de humor constantes...comeco a achar que me metem nojo... como ja escrevi um dia: " o dia em que a morte vier, nao será benvindo, mas tao pouco renegado, será aceite, nao com tristeza, mas conformado pela alegria de deixar de sentir"

things i cant say...to the crazy girl...

hi...you know who i am...so there's no point in explaining. the questions is, who are you?
it shoul be something easy to see, to know, but...it isn't, don't ask me why, i don't know that either..enough with the things i dont know, wht i know is, im glad i saw you...im glad you answered me, glad you took the time...u should be asking yourself.."why the heck did this guy "glued" on me?" i want to give you an answer, but i dont have it...maybe it's just a consequence of the recent changes in my life, new city and all, left the friends behind...being alone...maybe it's the "who are you" question that keeps me around, maybe just the fate, and maybe it's nothing of what im saying...i dont know..i know i liked you, i know your smile calms me down...and for now thats just all i need, thats just enough... so, thank you...

(my smile for you)

velhas memorias...

poema da minha autoria...em inglês... não me perguntem porquê... ja lá vao uns anitos...peço desculpa por alguma falha gramatical....enjoy

There's nothing more to life than this;
Poor and painful existence that drives you insane!
Think about it, over and over again,
While life passes by.
There's no where to run to
There's nothing to run from
Just a used, hurted heart,
Wich very soon will break apart.

I feel bad, knowing I'll die,
Because of no one else but me.
Painfull existence that seems like hell,
A hell on earth just made for me.

Who am I to blame?
Can´t blame no one else but me,
I created this own personal hell,
Got inside and thrown away the key.
What to do to make it better?
Forget you will never do...

Locked up, in a jail with no walls
Begging to God don't forget me,
But oh my, how I despair,
Not even God knows me.

Alone and aparted from everyone I am,
No one knows me, no one wants me,
And by myself I can't set free.
Just an anwser I can find,
And what an awful anwser it is.
If everything else fades away,
That's the anwser, so it is.